Jennifer Cattaui.Stitch3.Gift Guide

If you really loved me

.1 This issue is all about the future, but ever since Miss Cleo proved to be a fraud, my future is now. I’ve become an instant gratification gal – that sort of gratification only achieved by a vigorous day of shopping. I’ve found things that will have you salivating like one of Pavlov’s tongue-waggers. So whip out that Black Amex and head to the hills (Beverly Hills, of course). Oh, and if you need a reason to splurge dur ing this holiday-free zone (since when did you need a reason?), why not celebrate Memorial Day, Flag Day, or the oft forgotten Canadian holiday Victoria Day. Vroom vroom. The coveted and oh-so-elusive Bugatti is coming to the United States. For a price. At one million Euros, the Bugatti EB 16.4 Veyron is an unparalleled spectacle of speed and design. Although it will go from zero to 62.1mph in three seconds and passes 196.4 mph in 14 seconds (and maxes out at 252.3 mph), there will only be 300 available worldwide, so may I suggest, don’t use it as a getaway car – it ain’t no white Bronco. bugatti-auto.com; 1,000,000 Euros, tax-free . platinum pasty to go with my platinum record), but may I reiterate: What have you done for me lately? The Bugatti by Jennifer Cattaui Janet Jackson may have asked it first (answer:

If you really loved me

Like a bullet being shot from the water, the Pershing 88 is a sight best appreciated while decked out in an entirely white ensemble – think mod ern day Don Johnson. Only to be moored in the poshest of ports – St. Tropez is a safe bet - the Pershing’s splendor and strong lines will attract the ladies like flies to a sweet Sauterne on a hot summer day. $8,000,000. marinemaxyachts.com Pershing 88

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Some people speed read, but you’ll be speed-writing. Your novel will be done in less than half a day with this spectacular specimen for your desk. Swiss company Montegrappa has teamed up with Ferrari to bring you not just a pen but a ‘writing jewel’ with all the precision and craftsmanship of the former and all the sex and style of the latter. Montegrappa for Ferrari Limited edition pens are offered in either sterling silver and racing red or Modena yellow or in 18K yellow gold and racing red. Fountain pens, roller balls and ballpoints; montegrappa1912.com; prices range from $1,300 to $4,550. Montegrappa for Ferrari

Stitch Magazine pg. 78

I never thought of living in a yellow submarine until I saw the Subeo Aquarius. Touted the ‘world’s first underwater sports car,’ the three seater provides the ultimate view of what lies beneath - whether it’s brightly colored coral, a toothy shark or David Blaine up to his old tricks (perhaps strapped to a giant lobster, slathered in hollandaise sauce while holding his breath for 45 days). Just don’t roll down the window. subeo.com; The Aquarius will be available late 2004/early 2005 for £500,000. Subeo Aquarius .4

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Getting in shape can be a grueling process. Ephedra is bad for you, liposuction hurts, and carb is a four-letter word – there are just no good shortcuts these days. This is where Philippe Starck Poaa hand weights come in. If you are going to have to tone and sculpt to shape your summer-ready physique the natural way, why not do it in style? These weights are barely discernible as getting-fit tools – they look as great on a coffee table as they do in your hands. Sleek in look, they will certainly mold your body to be the same. Nickel-plated cast bronze, 3kg each. mossonline.com; $570. Philippe Starck Poaa hand weights

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All about E

Wipe that outdated image of Richard Simmons sweating to the oldies from your mind. At today’s gyms, luxury abounds while you are strengthening your core with Pilates, zenly bent like a pretzel in a yoga class, or customizing your workout on a car dio machine fit for an Olympian. Currently a division of the Columbus Circle Equinox, training facility E provides the most advanced personal training pro grams to date – Tier 4 – a powerful combination of the highest level of personal trainers, attention, and service. Workout programs are individually tailored for members’ unique goals. On top of the state-of the-art fitness machines and classes, E makes the whole experience pleasant with its private showers and changing cabanas (complete with plush Frette robes). There is also a luxurious lounge with phones and Internet access, so when you get away for a workout you are not completely out of touch. At $23,500/year annual membership, gym conversations don’t only revolve around six packs – but also magnums of Opus One. equinoxfitness.com. Membership by invite only.

Stitch Magazine pg. 80

I like shiny things. Anything that sparkles. Like an infant, I am very easily pleased. And the diamonized phones by Peter Aloisson certainly do the trick. The jeweled cell covers are custom made by the Austrian designer who shares my pen chant for all things glittery. And for those on a budget, the dia toos can bling up your phone without breaking the bank. When he sees you pull this puppy out of your Birkin, he’ll think cha ching , here’s a gal who can take care of me for the rest of my life. Or he’ll run as fast and as far as he can, knowing that you could really do some damage when left to your own vices. aloisson.com; All diamond phones are covered in solid gold and encrusted with high quality diamonds; From $17,900. The highest price to date: $72,000 - but Aloisson is ready to create the world’s first $1,000,000 phone – the question is, is your wallet ready? BTW, don’t worry if you need to upgrade your phone – if you’ve already purchased a full version dia mante cover, for a mere $9,000, Aloisson will exchange (re shape a cover to a new model) so you’re not stuck with a sparkly yet clunky and out of date cell! Diatoos (diamond tat too accents for your phone) start at $350. Diamonized phones by Peter Aloisson .7

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Stitch Magazine pg. 82

It’s the one type of heart attack you don’t mind. Pianegonda’s sterling silver heart bracelet and choker is a modern tribute to that silly little thing called love. Edgy and cool without the sicken ing sweetness of the rounded heart (oft found topping the “i” for all the Krissis and Bambis of the world), the Italian line sets a standard for profess ing one’s love with heart-shaped jewelry. Available at selected Saks Fifth Avenues; piane gonda.com; Large heart pendant with leather strap $450; Large hanging heart bracelet $1400. Pianegonda’s sterling silver heart bracelet and choker

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The facts: The lotus is a sacred bloom that simultane ously fruits and flowers. It is said to represent the uni versal Buddha nature inherent equally in all life. The strategy: Try to argue that Van Cleef and Arpels’ Lotus Ring speaks to you spiritually, its glimmers a calming presence in this oh-so-crazy world. Who knows? It just might work. The Lotus Ring is made of white gold and 2.38 cts. of pavé diamonds; Available at Van Cleef & Arpels New York, Americana Manhasset, Bal Harbour, Beverly Hills, Chicago, Palm Beach and South Coast Plaza; 1-800 VCA-5797; $15,800. Van Cleef & Arpels’ Lotus Ring

Stitch Magazine pg. 83

Antonio Gaudí-designed Parc Guell draws crowds to the “treeless suburb” populated with colorful mosaic tiles and curved terraces in the distinc tive style of the Barcelona architect. So enchanting is his work that you long to take it home with you. Now you can. Akim Monet’s spectacular cibachromes will have you worshipping your surrealist walls. In giant sized testaments to one of the most recognizable architects in history, Monet captures Gaudí’s Parc Guell, Sagrada Familia and other architectural accents throughout the city with a keen photographic eye. His luminous photos exude the spiritual energy and creativity of the master architect while portraying his own rich and unique perspective. Showing until the end of May at the Maruani & Noirhomme gallery in Knokke le Zoute, ‘the St. Tropez of Belgium,’ the photographs from his Homage to Gaudí series are limited edition and perfect for a high ceiling loft. Monet’s Passage to India collection is equally impressive. akimmonet.com; Shown: CAVE, 2000-2003; 122 x 183 cm / 48 x 72” Ilfochrome exhibition print laminated face in 6mm / 1/4” Plexiglas; Edition of 2; $12,400. Akim Monet Photography .1

.12 When they say there are other fish in the sea, they are cer tainly not referring to the utterly unique and sought after koi fish. A single koi has been known to catch more than £275,000 at auction. They are specimens to be cherished. One particularly sultry koi has purportedly been spotted popping out of the water to drag on a cigarette and blow smoke rings. Marlene Dietrich reincarnated? Now that’s worth every penny. Infiltration UK, a pre-eminent koi outlet based in Cheshire, England, deals with the finest. Case in point: Since 1982, Infiltration has provided 15 of the last 18 Supreme Champion Koi, winners of the prestigious British Koi Keeper’s Society National Show (like Westminster for fish). koikichi.com. The koi fish

Stitch Magazine pg. 84

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If 007 were island-bound, he would insist on having his shaken-not-stirred cocktail of choice in a set like this. St. John’s tropical martini set could bring out vacation mode in anyone – especially a debonair Brit with a penchant for danger. Available at St. John Boutiques, Saks Fifth Avenue, Bloomingdale’s and Marshall Fields; or sjk.com. Tropical Martini Shaker, $160 and Palm Tree Martini Glass, $70. St. John Martini Shaker

Test your wine know-how. Is it Charles Shaw or Petrus? Mondovi or Screaming Eagle? With Riedel’s Blind Blind Tasting Glasses, you can keep them guessing all night. Even if you spill the beans, the glasses are as cool as can be for a loft-living urbanite. Riedel Blind Blind Tasting glass, $59 each, riedelcrystal.com .15 Blind Blind Tasting Glass

.14 Chinese umbrella swizzle sticks It’s raining, it’s pouring, and my drink is getting watered down! With Neiman Marcus’ exclusive Chinese silk umbrella swizzle sticks, your drink will be protected from the elements and your scrumptious Seven & Seven will remain well-pro portioned. OK, I jest (skip ahead to #17 if you believed me). Nonfunctional, they are only for the fun factor, but they look fabulous in your brew of choice if you are wearing a mono-col ored dress or suit or are decked out in a colorful Cheongsam (but be sure to choose the compli mentary silk umbrella). Available in a set of four, neimanmarcus.com; $55.

Stitch Magazine pg. 85

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You Doll

Low quality daytime talk shows used to feature sparse-toothed wanna be pimps seeking to get their girls with catchy lines like “Get rid of that zero and go with a real hero” (typically eliciting wild boos from the crowd). If you fancy yourself a hero, these days you can put your money where your mouth is. Gentle Giant Studios will make a personalized ‘you’ doll – a dye cast miniature that is your spitting image. Want the chicks to worship you like Justin Timberlake or Adam Levine? This is the fastest way to their hearts. And if you really crave a squealing fan club, you may consider pitching your mini-you to the powers that be behind the ever-popular Happy Meal. Gentle Giant Studios (818) 504 3555; full body replica with packaging, $6,000; your head with generic body (GI Joe style), $2,500.

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Lie Detector

What’s a little white lie now and then? It’s time you heard the truth. You are thin and fabulous, don’t look a day over twenty and have the charisma of an ebullient drunk on a bender. The VSA-15 portable lie detector is sure to confirm all that you already know. But for heaven’s sake, don’t bring it into the bedroom; sometimes too much honesty can spoil a good thing. Available at The Counter Spy Shops, 1 (888) 779-9205, spyzone.com; $2,900.

Stitch Magazine pg. 86

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Corum on Ice

Sin City or bust! You don’t need a card up your sleeve if you’ve got a roulette wheel on your wrist. Corum‘s Limited Edition Bubble Casino Watch in 18 carat white gold with 5.23 carats of diamonds is the best of Las Vegas flash and fun. Only five watches are avail able in the Americas – all exclusively at Ca’d’Oro at the Venetian Grande Canal Shoppes, Las Vegas, Nevada. Call 866-588-0800; $48,000 .

.20 Game Boy SP

Electronic games, snails and puppy dog tails, that’s what little boys are made of these days. And grown men. Game Boy has pervaded every gener ation under 40, and the latest black and stainless steel portable funhouse will keep him quiet and subdued (short of the occasional expletive) while you’re in the dressing room at Barneys. Limited Edition Game Boy Advance SP, nintendo.com; $99.99.

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Stainless Steel playing cards

Talk about being heavy handed. Stainless steel playing cards – the ulti mate extravagance for a card shark. Warning: not easy to shuffle, but oh-so 21 st century Brunei. Deal with it. Limited edition at iwantoneofthose.com; £999.

Stitch Magazine pg. 87