Babesta Beat SS17

I n order to teach manners to your children, you need to not only model them but you must employ them sincerely in your own life, says Lizzie Post, the president of the Emily Post Institute, an organization dedicated to etiquette rules of the modern world. Post says, it’s never to early to start teaching: “even when baby’s in the womb.” The earlier you start notes Post, the more successful you’ll be. “Children will hear the language used and there is not push-back like one might experience with a child in their ‘terrible twos’ or is a pre-teen. By the time the child is older they will have been raised in an environment of good manners,” Post adds, explaining how manners will come naturally. We were able to chat with Post about some of the most pressing manners questions facing families today. Lizzy Post of the Emily Post Institute answers our most pressing family etiquette questions lil miss&mr. MANNERS

Tableside Digital : “At the table, keep focus on the people you’re with,” says Post, acknowledging the challenges of the digital age and the phones and devices that accompany everyone everywhere. “Both parents should discuss and be on the same page about what’s expected,” Post says. Once in sync, establish the table-time rules and ensure you and your children live by them. No presents please: We’ve all gotten that invitation that insists “no presents please.” It always leaves us anxious, as gift giving is in our DNA! Post agrees that gift giving is an ‘established norm’ that’s not going away any time soon, and thinks that the sentiment, although well meaning, shortchanges the child who loses out on the experience of being a good gift recipient. When this gift giving conundrum arises, respect the family’s wishes but bring a nice card with a personal note. Say “please” and “thank you,” take hats off at dinner, turn off smartphones in class, shake hands and introduce yourself. Flying Fraught: As a parent you always feel for that one person on the plane with a toddler who is just not having it. We’ve all been there and it’s probably toughest and most stressful on the parent who’s trying to keep the tantrum under wraps. Post says, “Comfort the child to the best of your ability. Try to walk down the aisles or switch seats in order to give those sitting around you a break.” It’s not easy but your fellow flyers will see you’re making efforts to help and should understand. Restaurant Meltdown: “The restaurant is not the place to enforce your discipline,” says Post. As Kenny Rogers says, You gotta know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em. Sometimes you just have to leave and go back to your home where you can address the behavior properly. “It’s OK to say that we cannot do this tonight. Not every outing is going to go well and it doesn’t mean you are a bad parent or your child’s a bad child,” Post adds. Computer time: Again, establishing rules and being on the same page as your partner is key. “There’s not a right or wrong answer to what you allow,” Post says. Your child’s friends will have different rules inevitably and yours might be more restrictive when it comes to screen time. When your child’s friend points that out, you can say something like, “I know at your house you can play 2 hours of video games but at our house we play outside. Respect the rules at the given house,” Post notes, adding, “Be the champion for what you think is right for your kids and stand by it.” “

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babesta beat spring/summer 2017